novelhk Page 96
Page 96
Qingyu crossed his arms and added with a serious expression, "That's right. To put it bluntly, even if the four of us teamed up and used all our resources and comedic talent to fight him, we'd probably still end up being sold out by him and happily counting the money for him. He can use a carrot and a few witty remarks to trap you in a logical black hole, making you question the meaning of life."
"Huh?! He... he's that good?!"
Paimon shrank back in fright, his little face filled with disbelief.
In her opinion, the four-person group was already capable of causing trouble (and fighting), so why did they have such a high opinion of a rabbit?
"Yes, his 'strength' lies not in physical strength, but in this."
Zhang Chu pointed to his head, looking helpless.
"First of all, his disguise skills can no longer be called 'skills'; they are practically law-level abilities. Even if he just puts on a hat, adds a mustache, or even changes his accent, your brain's recognition system will automatically identify him as a completely unrelated person, making it impossible for him to detect the disguise."
"And in psychological warfare."
Qingyu picked up the conversation, his tone filled with genuine admiration.
"Bugs Bugs Bunny is unbeatable. He can always anticipate your predictions, resolve crises in the most unexpected ways, and always maintain that infuriatingly calm demeanor."
You're furious, while he's leisurely munching on a radish;
You set a trap, and he conveniently used it to swindle you in return;
You think you've won, but then you realize the prize is just a brick...
"He can drag any opponent into his rhythm and then beat you with his wealth of experience."
Gu Qian nodded and concluded, "Anyway, as far as I know, apart from a certain female brown bear, I've never seen anyone actually get the better of him. Others, including us, are better off avoiding him, or... like Er Kang, try to befriend him."
After listening, Paimon looked at Bugs Bunny, who was already arm in arm with Erkang, discussing whether to open a carrot-themed restaurant in Mondstadt. He silently added Bugs Bunny to the top of his list of "absolutely not to be messed with," even higher than "Zhang Chu when he's angry."
Chapter 114 You should know that this means declaring war
When the leader of the band heard about Bugs Bunny's existence and his "glorious deeds" from Kaiya, she felt her temples throbbing and her vision even went black.
She silently put down the thick stack of documents in her hand, walked to the window, and watched the chase scene unfolding in the square in the distance.
Oh no... Barbara above, another one has arrived... and it looks like it'll cause even more trouble than those four Hilichurl Knights of Honor!
O Wind God, can Mondstadt truly withstand this?
The president of the Adventurers' Guild, Serius, a usually composed and burly man, was now red-faced, waving a broom he had picked up from somewhere, chasing a casually dressed gray rabbit that was even leisurely munching on a spare carrot all over the square.
"You lawless rabbit! Stop right there!"
Serius's roar could be heard even through the window.
"I'm so sorry, buddy! I really didn't mean to!"
Bugs Bunny deftly dodged the broom's swings while responding in his signature, slightly languid tone, sounding utterly insincere.
"Not on purpose?! You soaked three months' worth of our Adventurers' Guild's mission briefings, financial statements, and new recruit recommendation letters in carrot soup until they were all mush! And this isn't on purpose?!"
"Oh, it's just wet, it can still be used after drying in the sun..."
Bugs Bunny tries to get away with it.
"Sunflower?! That's carrot soup! It's thick and gooey! And most importantly!"
Serius was so angry his hair almost stood on end.
"You even used a precious ancient ruins exploration report to wipe your mouth! And then you dug a hole in the ground and crawled right into my office! You made a complete mess of the floor! And you call that 'not intentional'?!"
Around the square, a large crowd of onlookers, including Ying, Paimon, and the four-person group, watched the chaotic scene with utter bewilderment.
"This rabbit... it's only been here for half a day, right? Its ability to cause trouble is top-notch..."
Qingyu's lips twitched.
"And he seemed particularly self-righteous about it?"
Paimon flew in the air, pointing in that direction with his little finger.
Zhang Chu calmly analyzed: "No, he actually knows he's in the wrong, otherwise, with his abilities, President Serius wouldn't even be able to touch him. He's just... well, enjoying the fun of teasing people."
Sure enough, although Bugs Bunny ran very fast, he never left the square area and did not use any extraordinary abilities. He just kept Serius busy with his fancy footwork.
Finally, Bugs Bunny stopped playing, probably because he had had enough fun, or maybe because he had finished eating the carrot in his hand.
He raised his hands in surrender: "Alright, alright, buddy, I admit defeat. How about I compensate you for your losses?"
Finally, with the "mediation" of everyone (mainly Kaeya, sent by Jean), Bugs Bunny offered up his treasured collection of top-quality carrots from various worlds (?), piled up as high as a small mountain, and promised to do odd jobs for the Adventurers' Guild for free for two days, which barely quelled Serius's raging anger.
Serius didn't actually assign this rabbit of unknown origin any dangerous tasks, but simply assigned him simple jobs such as cleaning, organizing files (limited to physical handling), and delivering takeout.
Soon, the residents of Mondstadt witnessed a novel sight: a gray rabbit, dressed in an ill-fitting adventurer's uniform and walking upright, carrying a takeout box and with a carrot in its mouth, leisurely strolling through the streets and alleys.
"Hello, your takeout has arrived."
Bugs Bunny arrived at a slightly secluded alleyway according to the address and handed the takeout box to a young man dressed in fine clothes and with an arrogant expression.
The man glanced at Bugs Bunny, a hint of disdain and superiority flashing in his eyes. He said in a deliberately affected and unsettling tone, "That's... incredibly disrespectful. A lowly food deliveryman, a mere beast."
Bugs Bunny paused for a moment while munching on the carrot.
The man continued arrogantly in an aria-like tone: "You should kneel on the ground, devoutly kiss the earth beneath my feet that is imbued with my noble aura, and then, with your filthy claws, respectfully offer up my things with both hands."
Bugs Bunny stuffed the remaining carrot into his mouth, chewed a few times, swallowed, and then looked at the other person expressionlessly: "Stop all this whining nonsense! Just tell me, do you want this takeout or not? If not, I'll take it back and feed it to the Hilichurls!"
This blunt, even contemptuous attitude thoroughly enraged the other party.
His face flushed red, and he pointed at Bugs Bunny: "You rude rabbit! Watch your manners and your words! I am a descendant of the noble Lawrence family! You..."
"Stop whining! Give me the money! It'll be 1,500 Mora in total!"
Bugs Bunny impatiently interrupted him and stretched out his paw to ask for money.
"Money? Ha, as expected of a lowly creature, only concerned with such vulgar things!"
Lawrence, the nobleman, was so angry that his chest heaved. He snatched the takeout box, but instead of catching it properly, he slammed the entire box down on Bugs Bunny's face!
The greasy soup and noodles instantly smeared Bugs Bunny's face!
Immediately afterwards, he raised his foot, which was clad in an exquisite leather boot, and kicked Bugs Bunny hard in the stomach, sending him flying into a large, smelly trash can next to him!
The trash can lid wobbled a few times before closing.
Lawrence straightened his collar and spat at the trash can: "Hmph! In the old aristocratic era, someone as lowly as you would have been hanged long ago! This is just a small lesson for you! Remember, never challenge the prestige of the nobility!"
After saying that, he turned around triumphantly, preparing to leave this "undignified" alley.
The sound of the trash can lid being gently pushed open could be heard.
Bugs Bunny, with a head full of vegetable leaves and noodles, slowly poked his head out of the trash can.
His face had lost its previous leisure and playfulness, replaced by an extremely calm, yet unsettling, expression.
He extended his paw and elegantly (if you ignore the grime on his head) flicked a rotten vegetable leaf off his shoulder, then spoke, word by word, in his unique, slightly cold, languid tone:
"Hey buddy... he shoved a lunchbox in my face and kicked me into the trash can..."
His eyes narrowed slightly, and a dangerous smile curled at the corner of his mouth.
"You should know that this means war."
Chapter 115 Lawrence
"Good heavens, I thought that idiot who shoved a lunchbox in my face was just an isolated incident, but it turns out that like father, like son, everyone here is a villain!"
Bugs Bunny somehow acquired a copy of "The Mondstadt Chronicle: The Rise and Fall of the Nobility," which was even thicker than Paimon's. He sat cross-legged on a wooden barrel outside the Angel's Gift tavern, munching on a newly bought juicy Mondstadt specialty carrot while flipping through the pages with amazement.
His bushy eyebrows furrowed higher and higher as he read on.
As the saying goes, "Know yourself and know your enemy, and you will never be defeated." Bugs Bunny wasn't about to let the "humiliation" of being kicked into the trash can by that nobleman Lawrence go unpunished.
He decided to first find out more about the Lawrence family.
You wouldn't believe it until you looked it up. This thick history book records hundreds of years of trials and tribulations in Mondstadt, and the "glorious deeds" of the Lawrence family take up almost half of the book!
The list of atrocities is endless: exorbitant taxes, enslavement of the people, bloody suppression, and even attempts to control other families' knights with poison.
"Tsk tsk, forcing civilians to crawl on the ground like dogs just for amusement? Hanging dissidents on the city walls to dry in the wind? Inventing 'laughing torture' until people are laughed to death?..."
Bugs Bunny shook his head, forgetting even to nibble on his carrot.
"Dude, the way you guys play is something even the most cunning wolves and hot-tempered hunters back home wouldn't dare to imagine."
He closed the book and decided to first listen to the opinions of the people of Mondstadt.
The result was even more eye-opening for him.
From Grandpa Marvin, who sells fruit, to the patrolling Knights of Favonius, everyone who mentions the name "Lawrence" shows disdain, and even a hint of lingering hatred.
What he found even more outrageous was that, despite their current state of decline, the remaining members of the Lawrence clan still maintained their aristocratic airs, looking down on this and that, and indulging in daydreams of restoring their former "glory."
"I can't understand it, I really can't understand it."
Bugs Bunny lay on the grass, gazing at the azure sky, his ears twitching in confusion.
"They're all hated to the core, and they still don't behave themselves? Have these guys been kicked in the head by a donkey or hit in the head with a club? The Mondstadt people are too nice, aren't they? According to our rules, these kinds of people would have been chased all over the map by now, or I would have stuffed them into a rocket and launched them into outer space."
In his view, the sins committed by the Lawrence family throughout their history were so great that even if the entire family were tied up and sent to the guillotine one by one, it would be too lenient for them.
"Originally, I wanted to put in some effort to let these guys experience what it truly means to be 'hated by everyone'."
Bugs Bunny stroked his smooth chin, his eyes darting around with a cunning glint.
"As it turns out, they've long been considered pariahs, but they're unaware of it. It seems we need to come up with a more 'creative' idea to teach them a lesson about what it means to say, 'Times have changed, adults.'"
He needed a plan, a plan that would both teach these ignorant so-called "nobles" a lesson and leave them speechless with bitterness and anger, ultimately making them a laughingstock in front of all of Mondstadt.
Physical damage is too simplistic; psychological humiliation is the way to go!
Bugs Bunny sat up abruptly, his ears standing straight up like antennas, and a signature, slightly mischievous, bright smile appeared on his face.
A brilliant (and flawed) plan quickly took shape in his mind, which was full of imaginative ideas.
------
As always, the mornings in Mondstadt are awakened by the whistling of pigeons and the aroma of bread.
But on the somewhat dilapidated street where the remnants of the Lawrence family gathered, yet still stubbornly maintained a facade, an eerie atmosphere was spreading.
"Hey guys! Let's talk about Lawrence, those old fogies~"